7 Things NOT To Say When You’re Online Dating

One of my goals for 2014 was to go out on more dates.  And judging by the available men I’ve see out in Philly, I decided the best way to do that would be online dating.

I might have been very, very wrong.

The top 7 things NOT to say when you’re talking to someone online…

1. “Don’t message me if you’re a girl and not a woman.” – 1. You messaged ME.  2. What?  Where is the line between girl and woman drawn?  I pay my own bills, but I enjoy Harry Potter as much as the next 12 year old.  Get off my back, bro. 3. Most guys who say this are wearing some form of superhero memorabilia.

2. “LOL…I’m sorry, but you went to see John Mayer?” – Yeah, I did.  And it was awesome.  And so did a lot of other good looking girls that you’re probably going to alienate with that comment.  And I’ve loved John Mayer longer than I’ve loved any other man, so watch it.

3. “You fucking weirdo.  How are you? You’re pretty. – This needs no commentary.

4. “Quite sexy you are.” – Quite Yoda you’re not.  Form your sentences correctly, please.

5. “Hey…would you let someone rub your feet and serve you drinks?” – I would let someone do that, just not someone who uses that as an icebreaker.  I automatically assume you have a foot fetish and now I’m uncomfortable.

6. “I won’t use a line like ‘I lost my number…can I have yours?'” – Is this your way of telling me you’re not a creep?

7. “Can you cite this Camus quote without looking it up?” – No, and now I’m totally bored.

And with that…it’s time to pay attention in class.

2 thoughts on “7 Things NOT To Say When You’re Online Dating

  1. Rebecca January 15, 2014 / 8:18 pm

    It takes a lot of trial and error to find some good guys online. I found my guy online and we’re celebrating 3 years in March. I’m a big proponent of online dating. You can cut the weirdos losers and asses early..while in your pajamas. Try doing that at a bar!

  2. Lindsay January 16, 2014 / 12:50 pm

    Haha I’m having somewhat similar experiences with Match! Please do not spend me messages in all caps. I feel like you’re yelling at me.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s