I don’t know how I missed this, but a few months ago ThoughtCatalog.com published a post called “27 Things You Must Say Goodbye To At 27.” Apparently the writer is a very old 27, because this advice is kind of crappy. Either that, or she’s still in college and is imposing her life plan (HAHA…life plans) on the rest of us. As someone who has made it to the ripe old age of 28, I’m here to impart some counter wisdom…
- Everything bagels with full-fat cream cheese are sometimes the only way your hangover is going to go away, and since you’re now 27 and working, you can’t just NOT go to the office. And maybe at 27 you’re eating the full-fat cream cheese because you’ve finally started reading ingredient lists instead of just the words on the pretty packaging. Chemical free is the way to be, homies.
- If you can still celebrate your birthday for a week when you’re 27, good for you. It means that enough people love you that you can’t just have one celebration.
- If you have the time and money to take a vacation “just because,” go for it. Good for you. You work hard, so play hard. Yes, you will be spending a lot of money on weddings, but that doesn’t mean you can’t squirrel away some money to hike to Macchu Picchu or see the Eiffel Tower.
- I personally love babies and I’ve never ignored them. If babies aren’t your thing, they’re not your thing. Don’t be a meanie, but don’t be a meanie because you’re a good person, not because you’re 27.
- DANCE LIKE NO ONE’S WATCHING. And lay in bed until 3pm if you need to. I’m assuming since you’re not an idiot, you didn’t do it the day before a huge meeting at work so you’re allowed to. Enjoy it. Don’t forget the bagel.
- Shop at Forever21 if you want, just don’t expect the clothes to last forever. And definitely shop there if you’re looking for a top to wear to the bar. You know some 21 year old is going to spill her 17th vodka cran on you and this way, you can throw the shirt out instead of crying over spilled liquor.
- See #6.
- You should quit shopping at Urban, but because of this .
- Hopefully at 27 you’ve adopted your own style and if it calls for hair accessories, it calls for hair accessories. Do you.
- I wasn’t aware that you gave up comfortable footwear at 27, but I am rocking my Rainbows until I have to be in orthotic sneakers.
- Go to law school, go to med school, go to clown school. You’re 27, not dead. Keep dreaming.
- If your only social events are weddings, you are doing more things wrong than buying white dresses. Buy a white dress and rock it proudly.
- Personally, I’ve given up midnight movie showings but that’s only because Harry Potter is no more. I’m not going to judge the Hunger Games people out there.
- See number 11. Why does this chick think 27 = death?
- Get a hobby and work it around your day drinking. I run marathons…and I day drink. I’ve gotten it down to a science.
- This isn’t because you’re 27, it’s because you’re a classy broad.
- This lady is an idiot. Harry Styles <3.
- Be dependable because you’re a good friend, which you were at 7, 17, 27 and you’ll be long after 30.
- People who love each other don’t always agree. Don’t throw a tantrum, though.
- I’ll stop watching MTV when CT stops being so damn good looking.
- A fresh wound is a fresh wound. You should probably forgive your 7th grade boyfriend for passing a note to your old best friend Sarah, but other than that…
- Why wasn’t this girl doing this long before 27?
- There’s a difference between a theme party and a slutty party…while I probably wouldn’t go to a “golf pros and secretary hoes” thing, I’m always down for a fun “wiggin out” 30th.
- It took her until number 24 to come up with a valid point.
- See number 24.
- There are things that are ok to post on Facebook and there are things that are not ok to post on Facebook. Use your judgment, but don’t deny your mother a visual update on your life.
- Make it your hobby if you want, but this is for your forever health, not because you’re suddenly SO old at 27.
As my friend Jess pointed out, there aren’t many life rules to follow at 27 except for these…
Be a good person, be a good friend, don’t be an idiot, and be yourself.